Thursday, December 3, 2009

Attitude Adjustment Needed

Yep, that's right....we need some attitude adjustments around the Lewallen household.
You would probably quickly assume that I am referring to my two-year old. But I am not.
The one around here needing an attitude adjustment is none other than Yours Truly.
I am confessing to you all that I have been a little...okay a lot....preoccupied with myself lately. Preoccupied with the fact that I just can't do it all.
I had a little meltdown yesterday because I realized that there was no way that I could get the laundry done and put away, the dish washer loaded and unloaded, the fridge cleaned of Thanksgiving leftovers, the floor swept for the third time, all the toys put away, stairs vacuumed that have been needing vacuuming for three weeks now, Christmas cards ready to mail, Ryne birthday party invitations ready to mail, online school teaching done, diapers changed, children bathed and clothed, lunch served, supper prepared, snack made and myself showered all before Bible study was to happen at our house at 7:00 last night. And my children are the reason I had this meltdown. Not because they were being unruly...but because they were being my children. They were needy. Imagine that, a two year old and 11 month old, needy. I guess that's why God gave them parents, right?
Well, that was my problem. I was so concerned with all the things on my list that had to be done that my children and their neediness were a burden to me. Because of their presence it was impossible for me to get it all done. Then it hit me....this is not how I want things to be. I chose to stay home with my children because I love them and want to enjoy them. My "to do" list should include more things like block building time, book reading time, rocking time, singing time, hide and go seek time, peek-a-boo time and pat-a-cake time.
Sure I need to take care of things around our house and I want things to be neat and tidy for Bible study but not at the expense of my being all bent out of shape over the fact that I can't get everything done....and certainly not at the expense of missing out on precious time with my children.
So, I am NOT superwoman and I have got to be okay with that. I know there are probably plenty of women out there who can handle my kind of "to do" list with one hand tied behind their backs, but I am not one of them. And I am working on being okay with that.
I am WAY too Blessed to get stressed out over things that ultimately don't matter and have no eternal value. I am so thankful that God has chosen to give me a wonderful husband and two amazing little boys. Then he dumped all these other blessings on me as well.... a house where we can have people over for Bible study, clothes to wear, food to prepare and eat, friends that I care enough about that I want to send them Christmas cards, electricity with which to run a vacuum, a dishwasher so that I don't have to wash dishes by hand....
See what I mean. The very things that had me so stressed were the things that I should be thankful for. Attitude Adjustment!!! Sometimes I really need to change my perspective and see things the way they really are and quit being so selfish. I am going to try harder to forget about what "I" can or can't do, should be able to do, ought to be able to do, am expected to do, etc. and just remember that my husband and children are a priority and I need to enjoy the blessing of being a wife and mommy.

By the way, the stairs still aren't vacuumed and the laundry still isn't finished, we had teryaki take out for dinner last night and Ryne was still in his night-nights when people arrived for Bible study and nobody scolded me for it or even looked at me funny for it.

I will probably need to be reminded of this necessary attitude adjustment in the weeks to come as the temptation to think I should be able to do it all creeps back in. I do want to be superwoman, ya know. What wife and mom doesn't want to be? So feel free to remind me of what I know is most important and point out to me again the blessings that God has been so good to pour out in my life anytime you think I need reminding! THANKS!!

Now that I have that off my chest I will go ahead and tell you that I'm not too happy with my new camera so far. It might just take some time for me to get used to it and for it to get used to me but so far I'm not in love.
Here are some of my first pics with the new camera:

Ryne on his 11 month birthday.
Not such a bad picture.

And a couple more decent pics of my precious boys:

And then all of a sudden I will get pictures like this:

Nice and blurry.
And he was still.
With my old camera (the one that went for a swim in a Wal-Mart potty), it didn't matter if the boys were still or moving, I hardly ever got blurry shots.
And I haven't gotten a motion shot yet that wasn't blurry with my new picture taking device.

Blur of Kade raking leaves.

Blur of Kade helping Daddy move the trashcan.

And I can't for the life of me figure out a good setting for the flash. Auto flash does crazy things and sometime I get ghostly white images like this:

Ryne showing off his best "nap time hair do" to date.

Oh well, in the big scheme of things it doesn't matter. The camera and I will either figure each other out and we will have many happy picture taking days ahead, or we never will be compatible and I will just save up some money and get a different camera that understands me better. For now I just need you guys to put up with the "less than perfect" pictures that I will be posting on the blog. Because I am not going to stress out over it....I am blessed enough to have a camera that works and two crazy little boys to take pictures of.


Amber said...

Thanks for your honesty today, Terry. I cannot tell you how many attitude adjustments I need daily. To be reminded that all of these things are blessings to me.
That my piles of laundry mean that my family is warm and provided for.
That dirty dishes mean that our tummys are full and that there was enough food in our cabinets to make a mess with.
That the messes of toys and stuff mean that our children are playing and happy.

Good reminder for me today, too!

Granddaddy and C.G. said...

I love you! Momma